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1
WARZONE / Match I: Socko | Waldo
« Last Post by Luca on September 16, 2021, 08:25:23 pm »


___    ___ 

Information

Write up an example of a battle in any form you choose. Be as elaborate or as simple as you wish. Be analytical and methodical or fanciful and storylike. Whichever you like best. Then vote in the poll to reflect how your match has turned out. The results of the poll will determine the outcome and a canonical shitpost will be developed which expresses that result. You are not required to write a battle post to vote, although it is recommended.

Votes will only be displayed after the poll closes.











        Socko


Age:Ageless Eldritch Abomination
Strength:0
Agility:0
Wits:10
Spirit:0
Magic:5
Affinity:0
Command:10
Luck:0



He's finally found a home on someone's hand other than Bo Burnham. Unfortunately, that person is CEO Entrepeneur Born in 1964 Jeffrey Jeffrey Bezos
... and he has to pay rent on said hand.




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   


Waldo       


Age:34
Strength:1
Agility:10
Wits:2
Spirit:1
Magic:1
Affinity:5
Command:4
Luck:1



"Hey! You there! Have you seen Waldo?" Because I sure haven't."
"Waldo wha?"
"Wow, wow, Waldo."
"Waldo ever."
Yes. That is them. The imfamous Waldo. Just when we think we've found them, they disappear again.
Not only that, but they also change their name when they go to a different country. Wally in Britain, Waldo in USA, Vili in Hungary, Volli in Estonia and then they go to Serbia, call themselves Jura and not only haven't we lost Waldo, we're lost ourselves. So sharpen your eyes and focus your pencils, because we're going to find Waldo. Arguably the second most important question in the universe after the one to which only the answer is known:
"Where's Waldo?"


        Results


          Socko


   0

Waldo        


0   



       



2
WARZONE / Match J: Jeb Bush | Dot's Variables
« Last Post by Luca on September 16, 2021, 08:25:20 pm »


___    ___ 

Information

Write up an example of a battle in any form you choose. Be as elaborate or as simple as you wish. Be analytical and methodical or fanciful and storylike. Whichever you like best. Then vote in the poll to reflect how your match has turned out. The results of the poll will determine the outcome and a canonical shitpost will be developed which expresses that result. You are not required to write a battle post to vote, although it is recommended.

Votes will only be displayed after the poll closes.











        Jeb Bush


Age:4 months
Strength:0
Agility:0
Wits:0
Spirit:3
Magic:7
Affinity:0
Command:10
Luck:5



Not to be confused with the former governor of Florida and second son of the late former US President George H.W. Bush, this is just slime in a bag made in the last few days of a senior's time in high school in chemistry.



                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   


Dot's Variables       


Age:9 Months
Strength:0
Agility:10
Wits:5
Spirit:0
Magic:10
Affinity:0
Command:0
Luck:0



• Versatile and Flexible
• Available instantly and without foresight
• Highly venomous string
• Can handle more traffic than Qingdao
• Can cast anything

While most variable naming conventions are sensible and oriented to their scope, why not just send the bees? There's no end to the practical application of bees, and its appearance in over 150 invocations as a variable in Dot's code prove this definitively.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 


        Results


          Jeb Bush         


   0

Dot's Variables        


0   



       



3
WARZONE / Match H: Final Outcome
« Last Post by Luca on September 16, 2021, 08:23:38 pm »


        Results


          Generic Furry Avatar

█ █
█ █
   2

Something, Etc.                       


1   



       


     
Time for bed! The generic furry avatar began closing the tabs of its favourite fanfiction site of all time e62-, wait, no. Oh...oh there's so many other tabs here to close... *click* *click* *click* *click* *cl- wait what's this? The item in this tab was neither visually, nor literarily satisfying.

"Hmm, that's odd," said the inoffensive quadrilateral visage of canine floof. But what was it? Some form of land whale? A...walrus? The furry leaned into the screen just to be sure. Yes, yes, it must be so. The avatar blinked, and suddenly the image on the screen shifted. It was no longer a walrus, it was now presently something else. Something larger, an indescribable form, large, grey, and standing upright. It was apparently...eating...rocks? How did this tab get opened in the first place? Did someone send some kind of picture? Had it been a pop-up?

The avatar blinked again. Once again the form had changed, it was a walrus once more, but a much larger one, much more blubber, and at least one additional tusk. The image dominated nearly the entirety of the screen. How in the world had the image changed? This was peculiar, maybe some kind of looped gif. Maybe if the avatar watched long enough, it would cycle around and its deeper meaning would be unlocked.

The avatar blicked again. The image on the screen reverted to it's eldritch form. Large grey skin that appeared subtly in motion, the skin seemingly liquid, mobile, oozing. That's quite disturbing for a pure and sacred creature of the arctic. The furry avatar leaned into the computer screen and blinked again. Once more, the image became larger. It now overḟ̷̢̢̭͓̤̪̥͕̥̤̿͗̑̌̈́̿͒͆̕l̵͎̅̄̓̎́͠ỏ̸̥͆̕w̵̯̩̭̘̬̩͂́̇͘͝ẻ̴̖͍͚̦̳̦̩̱͖̙̆̅͝d the bounds of the wị̵̢̬̖̻̙̈́͐̓̆̈́̾̆̕͜n̶͈͓͗͜dow.

It did what, sorry?

I said it overflo̴̡̧̢̰̘̮̠̮͓͇͑͘̚w̸̠̻͖̝̟̖̝͕̠̌̆͐͒̄̈́͒ė̴͉͜ th̴͓̊e̶̫̘̳̲͖͚̪̣̥̾͗ͅ boủ̷̢̩̱͉͎̻̞́̋͂̒͐̋̏͗͜nds of the w̸͉͖̣̰̩͉͂̆̆̿i̶͔͔̮͓͈̾n̸̗̙̰̼͇̖͖̬̗̍̂̆͌͛d̶̢̫̙̫͐͋́̄̆̓̀̉̈́ơ̶̥̭͓̹̭̞̯̪͚̄̓̿͂̃̌͜͠w̸̛̤̼̑̈́̿̽̔̈́̏.

Oh dear, this is getting much worse. The furry, startled, fell backwards on its wooden dinging chair, now blinking repeatedly.

The oozing matter started growing with every blink, getting a little larger, getting a little bigger, it was now turning into this shape of Som̸͉̗̖̳̭͈̎̌͒͛̂̕̚͝ę̷̙̳̠͖̤̮͒͑̍̑̄̿͘͜ṫ̶̥̭̝̭̼̳̳̫͐̐̓́h̵͓̳̟̖̏̒̎̅̽͠͝ing/Anythi̸̗͈̙̫̣̒͑̒̅̌n̵̡̢̠̹̹̺̥̭̝̉̾g̸̛͖̩̗̻̙̜̔̈́̓́̂̓̒̈́̕/̴̣̬̤̪͍̦̝͍̤̄̿̓͐̊̎̈́ͅE̶̛̛̖̣̱̖͔͔͉͔̊̽͑̏̂̋͜ͅv̸̡̘̯̟̞̺͚̑̊̽͝͠é̸̡̳͍̼͖̖̱̭̼̔͐̇̀́r̴̤̣̱̜͇̭̦͙̦̖̒̓͘y̷̨̼̩͇̌̕̚thing/N̴̨̛̦͔̤͈͓͉̤̅̾̉͗̀̂͗͗ơ̶̡̰̳̹̽̑͌̔̐̽̒͑͜t̷͈͖̬͚͍̫͇̙͒͛̕ ̷̼̱͙͂̋̈̾̏N̶̰͕͇̯̩͉̈́̑͑͠ọ̷̓͛̾̄͌̚͝ţ̴̧̗͇̳̲̀͠h̵̭̹̲̭̰̺͖͉͇̑̏̆͒͑i̴̛̗̗̞̦̮̦͚̠͔̗̽̔͌̏̾̓̂͝n̶̢̧͈̲̰͎̲̰̰͐̔͗̕͜g̶͓̦̞̒ Big, Large, Sizeable, Huge, Great, High, Long, Grand, Massive, Heavy, Bulky, Cumbers̶̡̪̠̏̆ơ̸͉̱͓̞͉̥̻͇̳̦̈́́̊͗͋̂̂͐͘m̴̞͙̯̣̥̤̞̏̒e̷͙̓͑̒̃̑̂͛́̋͠,̶̤̲̅͗͌͋̊̈̀͜ ̵̙̗͌̋̆͐̈̽͘͠Ė̸̡͈̙̟̹̜̳̳͒̑ͅẍ̴̻̥̮́͋͒̽͊͂͝͝t̸̫̱̤̱̮̬̓ͅe̶̮̝̲̥͓͇̯͛̊̾͗͂̍̉͗͜͠ͅͅń̸̛̖̀s̵̉͌̅̍̆̌͘͜͝i̸͚̮̭̩͛v̷̡͙̙͖́̈e̵̛̫͎͙̓͊͒̀͋̆̽̒̎,̴̳̞̖̲̤̣̐̿͆̓̑̏̍̚͜ ̶̙͙̘͒͗G̸̻͕̻͍̻̮̠̭͓̃̎̒̀̏̈́̍͝͝ï̷͕̖̲̔͌̈́́̆͝ņ̴̟̲͙͈̘̼̤͂̄̉̓̾̐̑̑̓ǫ̷̺͔̲̖̦͍̖̩̿͜rmous, Gargantuan, Humongous, Gigantic, E
normo̸̜̖͙̥̲̟̖̯͙͋͐͆̽͆͗͜u̵̜͍̝̒̒͛̂̆͆̕ș̸̱̻͓̞͊̌,̵͈̺͎̼͍̋̌͋̋͆ ̸̣͓͙̂̆̾̑̈̑̍̚͝͝I̴̛̖ḿ̴̪͓̤̤̤̀̈́̌̑͊̔͛̓̚ṁ̷͓̮̪̩͕̫̭͎̥͑̂̒̄̄̾́̈͜ȩ̴̢̛͎̲̘̬̼̱͙̜̄͐̆̑̊̐̽̚̚n̸̨̨̧̛̘̤̫͈̩͂͂̚s̶̭̟͙̦̠̯͓̖̲͕̉̉̒̃̒̃͂̚e̸̛̙̣̟̋͒̽̾̆̈̈́̀͝,̶̛̛̬̰̗͖̮̄̈́̈̈̍͛͝ ̷̧̛̮̙͖̰̱̯̮̘̏̽̀̔̇̎͊͠Ṯ̶̳̥̲̠̼̮͇̜̯̅̏̈́̔̓̕r̴̛̟̟͚̘̭̼̜̠̈́́̈̋̈́̉̐̐͊ẽ̶͉̟̤͉̰̭̬̞̓̀́͋̕m̴͍̩̥̣͓̘̲̭̱͊͘ȩ̵̝̣̳͔̖̮̓̾n̶̼̭̜̉̄̍̈́͐̃͑̑͠ͅͅḋ̸̬̞̳͔̒̑͋͒́͐̕͝͠ȭ̶̹̗̰̝ư̸̩̝͙͒̋͐͗̅͐͒s̴̢̪̰̝̎̂̇͂͝͠,̶̭̯̭̱̱̖̤͂̐͒́͝ ̴̨̙̦̪͔̺̫̱́͑̑͛M̴̺̥͙̹͓͕̰̄̔̿͊̈̚ŏ̴̭̼͖̝̼̙͔̹͖̙̎̋̂͂̈̋́̕͝n̶̢̛̲͔̕͜s̵̘̫͖̖͇̑͋͑̏͘trous, Not Small, Or Oth
erwise Of Consid̸̢̖͉͇͍̘̗̑̋̉͆̈̑͘ę̶̮̩̜͎̻̠͓̔͒̑͂̆̇͆̈͜r̴̝̝̭̫̺͕̖̥̓͒̊̒̚̚͜͝a̵̧̧̨̦͈̻̝̝͎̰͊̍̈́̎̌̓́͠
b̸̳̼̮̿̍͝ḷ̷̊͊̓̐̐͂̅̍̅ȩ̴͇̹̻̗̞͈͐́͆ͅ ̴̢̨̩̺͎̌̀̇S̷̡̖̳͎̦̜̫̦̋̚ͅͅi̵̧̫͚͎̭͙͙̿̉̾͗͂z̸͚͑̽̀̐͌̿͘͝͠͠è̵̛̜̰͕̳̽̈̂́͌̿́̚,̵̞̖͖̊ ̸̣̓̃̉Ȅ̸̢̠͈̣̖̭̺̲̈́̍x̵̡͔̥̟̰̼͖̞͋͆̓t̵̺͎̰̮̏ę̷̮̪̺͉̟͗́͂͝n̷̰͛͑̓̈̌̓̆̕ṫ̷̢͈͋̒̏̒͆̓͜,̵̪̘̼̜͎͎̭͎̳̟̒̄̚ ̸̛͉̙̣̳̰͎͗̀͆̊̑̒̚̚ơ̶̰̤̟̤̬̱͔̦͎̿̃͂̒̔̋̈́͝͠r̴̞͚͔͙̋̄̏͆̓̚͜ ̸̢͕̱͚̭̘̠̟͈̓͂͂̂̉̚







HOLY FUCKING SH-


















































Silence.


























All was dark. Suspiciously quiet. Quieter than the generic furry avatar could remember it being in this room in quite a long time. Maybe ever.

What had happened?






The avatar looked around.



Behind it, the reliable oven clock was completely dark.



Oh.



The power had gone out. That makes sense.

Too many people running their air conditioners this summer. "Looks like climate change kills another arctic creature."

The furry avatar looked at the remnants of the fried computer on the fold-out kitchen table.

"Well, maybe that's for the best."


Generic Furry Avatar Wins


     
4
WARZONE / Match G: Final Outcome
« Last Post by Emily on September 16, 2021, 07:54:34 pm »


        Results


          Iris                         


   1

The Local Library        

█ █ █
█ █ █
3   



       


     The streets of Coxarif were actually quite pretty now that she'd been able to spend some time here, Iris thought to herself. She'd only intended to be in the city for a few days, but it felt rather like she'd lived here for most of a year at this point. She was rushing through a park, panting under her breath, circling around the city centre on her way to the public library. It had crossed her mind in the past how nice the mages of the Inverted Spire must be to fund this place, keep it running entirely without cost to the readers. Everyone seemed to be so afraid of the Spire, but at the end of the day, they were good-hearted people with the best interests of everyone at heart!

The library loomed in front of her. Its white stone columns stood like the bars of a prison, or teeth. She wasn't sure why she was thinking of this place in exclusively ominous tones, but that was probably alright, the anxiety of running to a place might just have been getting to her. The stone stairs up to the front door were old and worn, but had never looked more inviting. Some of her fears melted away as she opened the old oak door and entered a warm, wholesome space.

The people in the library were always friendly and professional. Children sat on bean bag chairs in the corner reading books about knights rescuing damsels from dragons, while their mothers sat in comfy wooden chairs, reading books about sexy knights rescuing damsels from sexy dragons. The mages stood chatting quietly behind the checkout stand, drinking tea from cute ceramic cups featuring designs of books. Iris approached the front desk and straightened her little messenger bag across her shoulder. "Hello," she said to the silver-haired elven mage, "I was hoping to check out a book on healing magic… if that isn't too much trouble."

The elf, a wispy androgynous figure who seemed to be a mid-level member of the Inverted Spire, opened a large tome on the front desk and smiled to her, blue eyes bright and helpful. "I'd be happy to help, ma'am. Have you been to the Spire Public Library before?"

"Oh yes, many times," Iris could barely contain her excitement, or her love for this place. "I try to come here every week if I can. My name is Iris."

"Iris, I'm so pleased you like the library. Let me just look up the record of the things you've checked out in the past so I can point you toward something new…" they opened another, smaller book and flipped through names before settling on a page. "Hm hm, oh dear, I'm afraid you have a book that's quite overdue." They looked up and made eye contact with Iris, a sudden dangerous gleam in their eye. "Do you have your copy of One Night in Port Erin?"

No wonder she had been feeling such anxiety! Iris hadn't even realised she had been missing a book. When had she checked this book out?! "Oh my goodness, I don't! I- I'm not even sure I have that book."

"How tragic," said the librarian, closing the book and shaking their head. Disappointment, oh no! How would she ever cope? "The book was checked out on March 20th, and was due back on the 27th. That means it's nearly six months late. If you return the book now, the late fees are going to be… at least 30 cilea. You can also buy out the book for 45 cilea, but that's up to you."

Iris stared like a deer in the headlights, not that headlights were a known reference in this world, and with complete disregard as to whether this phrase was insensitive to a person with antlers. "I… don't have any money."

The Local Library wins.

5
Refugia / RRS Proposal Submission
« Last Post by Emily on September 15, 2021, 11:04:33 am »
I hereby officially request this proposal be moved to a vote.
6
Refugia / Re: [Draft] RRS Double Feature: Operations Overhaul, Exemption Embellishment
« Last Post by Luca on September 15, 2021, 10:52:05 am »
I second
7
Refugia / [Draft] Dissolution of the Interior
« Last Post by Luca on September 10, 2021, 11:55:21 am »

Dissolution of the Interior


Recognising that the Councillor of the Interior seat was created by the passage of RRS 6, Definitions and Responsibilities of Regional Councillors, for the purposes of integrating new members into government,

Observing the text of RRS 6(e) to presently state:

The Councillor of the Interior, whose responsibilities are defined as facilitating Regional engagement through communication with and polling of Member States and residents.

This Councillor shall:
    i.   Broadcast announcements via telegram.

    ii.  Ensure an amicable discussion environment.

    iii. Initiate polls to facilitate Regional engagement.

Recalling, the position has existed for some fifteen months and has been populated by a Member State from its inception until its most recent incumbent's departure from corporeal reality. However:
    i.   Facilitation of a discussion environment has arguably not taken place by initiation or instigation from any previous Councillor.
    ii.  Four polls have ever taken place, the last of which being four months ago.
    iii. No regional announcements have ever been dispatched.
    iv. Suppression of messages which may be considered spam, trolling, disruptive, or harassing have never taken place.

Perceiving the prevailing interpretation of RRS 6(e) to start and end with periodically, but exclusively, posting welcome messages into the Regional Message Board, an elected office appears not required for such a role,

Whereas the office does not appear able to retain its occupant with a responsibility as light as this,

RRS 6(e) and all of its subsections are struck from the Refugia Revised Statutes and removed from extant law.

Authored by:
Seconded by:

8
WARZONE / Re: Match G: Iris | The Local Library
« Last Post by Hunter Leptk on September 10, 2021, 09:41:56 am »
A great rumbling sound tore through the city.
Something was awakening.
Something huge.
Something knowledgeable.
Something ancient. (368 is pretty old)
Something, etc. Oh wait that's wrong.
Iris felt it.
The ground shook.
Her dragons hid under the bed of her small 1 room dormitory.
She stepped out onto her balcony and saw it.
Rising from the gloom.
A goliath of unmeasurable massivity.
A great stone structure transformed into a giant humanoid of pure doom.
Her local library.
"Hey!" She shouted into the gloom.
It slowly turned to face her, stones grinding, books flapping.
A slow rumbling sound emitted from deep within.
"You are overdue."
It struck.

Iris dove out of the way, off her balcony, landing safely 40 stories below.
She looked up and saw her room in ruins.
Her dragons were in that room.
The Library would pay.

Tears in her eyes, she pulled out her staff and began to summon a blast of destructive energy.
The local library twisted around, its arm still embedded in Iris's room.
She let loose a torrent of purple, manhole sized triangles, each bursting from her staff and shooting towards The Library.
At first, where they were vaporized by blue lighting before they struck. But the volume of Iris's despair made The Library's own magical defences seem feeble.
The Library's right leg was almost completely covered in a swarm of glowing purple, triangles embedded along almost every centimetre of the great mass.
Then Iris screamed, a horrible wrenching shriek.
And the triangles all exploded, vaporising The Library's leg.
The Library began to topple, slowly falling, and Iris realized her folly.
She had felled the tree unto her path.
The Library would crush her.
She pulled deep into the dregs of her soul and attempted to wrest a bit more mana from it.
Just enough for a wizard's shield.
The Library loomed above.
Just enough.
Cthooom.
The Library crumpled to the ground.
And Iris emerged.
Then she noticed something clutched in The Library's lifeless palm.
A book. One that she forgot she had.
And 3 tea dragons.
She bounded towards them, overcome with joy.
Then noticed something was off.
Her dragons were carrying the book, carefully, through the wreckage.
"Ginger? Aby? Ocha?"
One by one, they turned to face her. Their eyes glowed blue.
Iris realized. She had been outsmarted.
The library never really was alive.
It was just passed by a powerful Spirit.
A very intelligent Spirit.
Who now had her in checkmate.
She could not harm her dragons.
She knew this.
Ginger, Aby, and Ocha dropped their book (carefully) and turned to Iris, bearing their teeth.
"No.., Please."
They lept apon her.
The Local Library WINS!
9
WARZONE / Re: Match H: Generic Furry Avatar | Something, Etc.
« Last Post by Hunter Leptk on September 10, 2021, 07:57:56 am »
SOmething, etc. was lounging Somwhere, etc. And talking to SomeBoDy etc. When it saw a bright splash of neon on the horizon. The disgusting affront of colour apon its eyes (if it happened to have eyes at the time) drove it into a blind (pun intended) rage. Roaring (or hooting or something, etc.) Something, etc. walloped closer to the neon humanoid. Who spun around and began reciting a very long and in-depth speech about the complexities of the warrior cat book series. This sort of mindless droning would drive anyone with a brain totally insane, (hey that rhymes) but the walrus, sorry, SomThing, etc. was completely stupid. SomethIng, etc. Then attempted to stomp, squish and bludgeon the Generic Furry Avatar, but was too slow and too blind, and the Generic Furry Avatar was able to roll out of the way. The Generic Furry Avatar then asked SoMetHing, etc. who its favourite undertake character was. Something, etc. replied with "wooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaagggggh..." The Generic Furry Avatar was running out of weird and uncomfortable small talk topics and began to panic. Something, etc. began eating a rock. Something, etc. WINS!
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WARZONE / Match H: Generic Furry Avatar | Something, Etc.
« Last Post by Luca on September 09, 2021, 05:32:47 pm »


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Information

Write up an example of a battle in any form you choose. Be as elaborate or as simple as you wish. Be analytical and methodical or fanciful and storylike. Whichever you like best. Then vote in the poll to reflect how your match has turned out. The results of the poll will determine the outcome and a canonical shitpost will be developed which expresses that result. You are not required to write a battle post to vote, although it is recommended.

Votes will only be displayed after the poll closes.











        Generic Furry Avatar


Age:Immortal; un-aging
Strength:3
Agility:4
Wits:3
Spirit:3
Magic:3
Affinity:3
Command:3
Luck:3



  • Main attribute: being generic
  • Bright fur color will partially blind friends and foes alike
  • Due to the multitude of furries that they represent, they have no impressive strengths or major weaknesses
  • Seems to always keep left eye closed but at the same time appears to be unaffected by only using one eye to see
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     


Something, Etc.       


Age:19 idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Strength:10
Agility:0
Wits:0
Spirit:3
Magic:2
Affinity:1
Command:4
Luck:5



Size matters. We're incredibly stupid. Also slow. But we can smash. We also either hate rocks or love rocks. You are all rocks. We could be wrestlers. We might have even killed some..err, rocks. This may or may not be a way for me to put a walrus in without feeling awfully boring.









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          Generic Furry Avatar

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Something, Etc.                       


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