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Match G: Iris | The Local Library

Started by Luca, September 09, 2021, 05:31:15 PM

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In a heated debate between Iris and The Local Library, who will prevail?

1 (25%)
The Local Library
3 (75%)

Total Members Voted: 4

Voting closed: September 11, 2021, 05:31:15 PM



Write up an example of a battle in any form you choose. Be as elaborate or as simple as you wish. Be analytical and methodical or fanciful and storylike. Whichever you like best. Then vote in the poll to reflect how your match has turned out. The results of the poll will determine the outcome and a canonical shitpost will be developed which expresses that result. You are not required to write a battle post to vote, although it is recommended.

Votes will only be displayed after the poll closes.



  • Owner of three tea dragons (Ginger, Aby, and Ocha) they can't fly or breath fire but they got teeth!
  • Wields a nice wooden staff
  • Healer in training
  • Precious
  • May seem stand-offish when you first meet her but she's really a sweetheart!
  • 'Clearly a main character'
Nobody messes with her dragons.                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

The Local Library       

Age:at most 368

Your local public library is a wonderful and welcoming place to connect to your community, learn facts about the world, use the internet for your convenience, or just find a fun book to read!

Our librarians are happy to help you find things, or even give recommendations! Your local library takes pride in happily enabling both independent and community enrichment for everyone!




The Local Library        

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Hunter Leptk

A great rumbling sound tore through the city.
Something was awakening.
Something huge.
Something knowledgeable.
Something ancient. (368 is pretty old)
Something, etc. Oh wait that's wrong.
Iris felt it.
The ground shook.
Her dragons hid under the bed of her small 1 room dormitory.
She stepped out onto her balcony and saw it.
Rising from the gloom.
A goliath of unmeasurable massivity.
A great stone structure transformed into a giant humanoid of pure doom.
Her local library.
"Hey!" She shouted into the gloom.
It slowly turned to face her, stones grinding, books flapping.
A slow rumbling sound emitted from deep within.
"You are overdue."
It struck.

Iris dove out of the way, off her balcony, landing safely 40 stories below.
She looked up and saw her room in ruins.
Her dragons were in that room.
The Library would pay.

Tears in her eyes, she pulled out her staff and began to summon a blast of destructive energy.
The local library twisted around, its arm still embedded in Iris's room.
She let loose a torrent of purple, manhole sized triangles, each bursting from her staff and shooting towards The Library.
At first, where they were vaporized by blue lighting before they struck. But the volume of Iris's despair made The Library's own magical defences seem feeble.
The Library's right leg was almost completely covered in a swarm of glowing purple, triangles embedded along almost every centimetre of the great mass.
Then Iris screamed, a horrible wrenching shriek.
And the triangles all exploded, vaporising The Library's leg.
The Library began to topple, slowly falling, and Iris realized her folly.
She had felled the tree unto her path.
The Library would crush her.
She pulled deep into the dregs of her soul and attempted to wrest a bit more mana from it.
Just enough for a wizard's shield.
The Library loomed above.
Just enough.
The Library crumpled to the ground.
And Iris emerged.
Then she noticed something clutched in The Library's lifeless palm.
A book. One that she forgot she had.
And 3 tea dragons.
She bounded towards them, overcome with joy.
Then noticed something was off.
Her dragons were carrying the book, carefully, through the wreckage.
"Ginger? Aby? Ocha?"
One by one, they turned to face her. Their eyes glowed blue.
Iris realized. She had been outsmarted.
The library never really was alive.
It was just passed by a powerful Spirit.
A very intelligent Spirit.
Who now had her in checkmate.
She could not harm her dragons.
She knew this.
Ginger, Aby, and Ocha dropped their book (carefully) and turned to Iris, bearing their teeth.
"No.., Please."
They lept apon her.
The Local Library WINS!





The Local Library        

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     The streets of Coxarif were actually quite pretty now that she'd been able to spend some time here, Iris thought to herself. She'd only intended to be in the city for a few days, but it felt rather like she'd lived here for most of a year at this point. She was rushing through a park, panting under her breath, circling around the city centre on her way to the public library. It had crossed her mind in the past how nice the mages of the Inverted Spire must be to fund this place, keep it running entirely without cost to the readers. Everyone seemed to be so afraid of the Spire, but at the end of the day, they were good-hearted people with the best interests of everyone at heart!

The library loomed in front of her. Its white stone columns stood like the bars of a prison, or teeth. She wasn't sure why she was thinking of this place in exclusively ominous tones, but that was probably alright, the anxiety of running to a place might just have been getting to her. The stone stairs up to the front door were old and worn, but had never looked more inviting. Some of her fears melted away as she opened the old oak door and entered a warm, wholesome space.

The people in the library were always friendly and professional. Children sat on bean bag chairs in the corner reading books about knights rescuing damsels from dragons, while their mothers sat in comfy wooden chairs, reading books about sexy knights rescuing damsels from sexy dragons. The mages stood chatting quietly behind the checkout stand, drinking tea from cute ceramic cups featuring designs of books. Iris approached the front desk and straightened her little messenger bag across her shoulder. "Hello," she said to the silver-haired elven mage, "I was hoping to check out a book on healing magic... if that isn't too much trouble."

The elf, a wispy androgynous figure who seemed to be a mid-level member of the Inverted Spire, opened a large tome on the front desk and smiled to her, blue eyes bright and helpful. "I'd be happy to help, ma'am. Have you been to the Spire Public Library before?"

"Oh yes, many times," Iris could barely contain her excitement, or her love for this place. "I try to come here every week if I can. My name is Iris."

"Iris, I'm so pleased you like the library. Let me just look up the record of the things you've checked out in the past so I can point you toward something new..." they opened another, smaller book and flipped through names before settling on a page. "Hm hm, oh dear, I'm afraid you have a book that's quite overdue." They looked up and made eye contact with Iris, a sudden dangerous gleam in their eye. "Do you have your copy of One Night in Port Erin?"

No wonder she had been feeling such anxiety! Iris hadn't even realised she had been missing a book. When had she checked this book out?! "Oh my goodness, I don't! I- I'm not even sure I have that book."

"How tragic," said the librarian, closing the book and shaking their head. Disappointment, oh no! How would she ever cope? "The book was checked out on March 20th, and was due back on the 27th. That means it's nearly six months late. If you return the book now, the late fees are going to be... at least 30 cilea. You can also buy out the book for 45 cilea, but that's up to you."

Iris stared like a deer in the headlights, not that headlights were a known reference in this world, and with complete disregard as to whether this phrase was insensitive to a person with antlers. "I... don't have any money."

The Local Library wins.